Dear Annie: Husband is more controlling with age; it could be for a different reason than you think – Syracuse.com
2025-04-19T13:30:00Z
Warning signs.
Dear Annie: It might be worthwhile for “Help Me,” whose husband has become increasingly controlling and preoccupied with her whereabouts, to have him assessed for dementia or another medical disorder.
Dementia can sometimes present in such a fashion, with increasing hostility, suspicion, and misplaced blame often toward a spouse. It’s not uncommon for the person affected to accuse their mate of losing or misplacing items, making mistakes, causing confusion, or forgetting things as a result of their disease.
Dementia (there are several types), a host of other medical conditions or perhaps a combination of medications could be the culprit behind this sudden change in personality and behavior. If this is the case, then it needs to be identified and addressed.
The first step is to have the family doctor do a full evaluation and refer to a specialist if needed. The spouse can schedule a private appointment with the doctor to give him a heads-up and see where it goes from there. A sudden and dramatic shift in personality or behavior, whether positive or negative, warrants a medical checkup (think brain tumors, too).
I’ve seen this happen with loved ones dealing with metastatic cancer, dementia, and prescription medications that, though taken as prescribed, became toxic and overloaded the body, leading to these kinds of effects. I wish “Help Me” the best.
—Been There
Dear Been There: Thank you for your letter. Several other readers wrote in with similar experiences, recognizing these behaviors as potential warning signs of something more serious at play. At worst, a checkup is a waste of time. At best, it’s the first step toward getting this man help he didn’t know he needed.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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